2011 Year End Review

Overall 2011 has been a pretty amazing year for me.  I would have to give it an 8.5 and here are a few reasons why .... (this list is not in any particular order...just things that came to mind)

1. I became a marathoner! October 9th I finished the Portland Marathon with a time of 6:09 and it was one of the best days of my life!

2. Joining a running group.  I've found my running family in joining the Galloway Training Program in February and soon I also joined Run Portland and attend track sessions every week.  I'm also now a Program Co-Director of the group and hope to continue doing so!

3. Attended one of my best friends' wedding and was honored to be a bridesmaid!  This was a fantastic trip to Colorado where I met up with a bunch of friends and it was one of the best trips I've ever taken!

4. My grandparents' dementia has gotten worse.  Yep, this is one of the main reasons why 2011 wasn't a perfect 10.  Both my grandpa and grandma are suffering from this cruel disease and it sucks that they no longer remember.  This also leads into ...

5. Mom moved further away.  I loved traveling to Bend to visit her, which would only take me about 2 1/2 hours to get to her place.  I completed my first race with her there in 2010.  It was a 5k over the 4th of July weekend and that was beginning of my love for running races!  Now she lives about 5 hours and I have to cross 2 passes to drive there and these can get pretty crazy in the winter.

6. Finding myself.  You might be asking, "were you lost?".  In a way, yes.  I feel that I have more self-confidence and awareness of who I am and don't want to play anymore games with people.  I did have to say "goodbye" to some people which entailed removing them from my life for good and sadly, they were family members.  Though on the plus side I also said "hello" to some people I hadn't talked to in awhile!

7. Work, work and more work.  Now you mind think this is a negative, but for me, it's not.  I love my job and even with the long hours I put in, I wouldn't trade it for anything!  I'm really thankful to have a job!  My boss treats us to a variety of perks including concerts at the zoo (saw Chris Isaak!), monthly dinner and a movie outings, and more!

8. Seeing Celine Dion and Phantom of the Opera live!  I've heard from plenty of people about their feelings about Celine Dion, but I adore her!  Her voice is simply amazing and she puts on one of the best concerts I've ever seen!  Our annual work conference was in Vegas this year and my boss got us tickets to her show along with tickets to see Phantom which was absolutely wonderful!

Races completed in 2011:
February - Princess Half Marathon and 5k in Walt Disney World, FL
May - Friar Trot 10k in Sherwood, OR
June - Run for the Love of Dove 5k in Portland, OR
July - Foot Traffic Flat Half Marathon in Sauve Island, OR
September - Disneyland Half Marathon and 5k in Disneyland, CA
October - Portland Marathon in Portland, OR and Sandy Cenntenial Hybrid Half Marathon in Sandy, OR
November - Turkey Trot 4 miler at the Oregon Zoo in Portland, OR
December - Holiday Half Marathon and First Run 5k in Portland, OR

I've already got some races on the calendar for 2012 and I'm excited to push myself to reduce my finish time!  I'm excited to see what 2012 has in store for me and hoping it will take me to new places!

"Mourning" the Marathon

Perhaps mourning is too dramatic ... sad that the race is over? Okay, that's a little better. Now you must think I'm crazy! I'm sad that a race is behind me?! Well, yeah, I am. I've gone through so many weeks of training leading up to the marathon and yet when I first started the program I wasn't even thinking of running that race. I was scheduled for some half marathons and just wanted to be ready.

But after registering for the Portland Marathon I became excited for the possibility of the completing the impossible in my mind. As it got closer the nerves built up more and overpowered the excited-ness. I had never run 26 miles in my life! I missed that week in training as my schedule got flip-flopped. The most I had done was 23...so I knew I could do that. What's another 3 you ask?...a lot actually!

People ask me how I'm feeling after the race and how it went. I actually had an awesome experience and truly loved every moment of it! Even the crazy uphill climb of the ghastly St Johns Bridge at Mile 16/17. I made this race fun for me. I had to, or else ... no, there is no else ... I went into it telling myself to stay positive and keep yourself energized. I've done the training and this was my "victory lap"!

Okay, so I'm sure you're wondering about the sadness part. Well, this "impossible" goal was met and conquered. Now what? It's like I want go back and experience that feeling of accomplishment again! What's next that will give me that same positive high that this marathon gave me? An ultra? Do I dare set myself up to train for something above 26.2 miles? Right now that's the "impossible" dream I have.

Has anybody else ever experienced this before? Am I really this odd? Crazy? Completely off my rocker?

Sigh.

I'm a marathoner!!!

Okay, seriously, if you would've told me a year ago or even the beginning this year if I ever thought I could say that, I would've laughed!  I was still hesitant running half marathons, but now enjoy those races.  I've been training since February 2011 with a local Galloway Training Program group here in Portland and met with them every Saturday running all over Portland.  And then finally it was Portland Marathon weekend.

The whole experience was amazing!  I've heard some people have had bad experiences during their first marathon and even while I was running the race someone told me that usually at Mile 20 and 21 people hit their walls and struggle to finish the last few miles.  I have gotten used to not listening to music as I run, but had my iPhone with me the whole time.  I even text a few people!  I got an update from my friend Nic after her race in Denver and I let her know my progress.  As I was running though I try to keep it entertaining and interact with the spectators and talk to some of the runners I'm near. 

Interacting with specatators ... how does one do that you may ask?  There were a couple times I would pass by lines of people standing by and cheering, so I would take a running leap in the air and they would cheer louder!  I figured that if I could do this after Mile 19, I was doing pretty good!

As I was nearing the end of the race, around Mile 24 I realized that I was going to finish in the time I had estimated ... around 6 hours.  I then thought, to just finish the race by walking the rest.  That would be the left side of my brain trying to be sneaky!  I didn't fall for it.  I kept up with my 30:30 pace and ran/walked the rest of the way and finished with a 6 hour 9 minute time!!! I was thrilled!  I of course was crying, but soon found some of my fellow Galloway runners. 

Oh, and talk about after race schwag! A medal, a finishers shirt, a running coin, a charm/pendant, a rose, a space blanket (to keep warm) and a tree seedling!  The entire race was so much fun and I'm very happy with what I've accomplished!  I may even run it again next year!

And I do feel some soreness, but after sleeping for 12 hours, I went to work today with no problems.  I had scheduled to stay home, but felt energized and kept thinking what would I do all day?  I know most people would say "relax!", but I couldn't.  I went to the office and enjoyed the day!  I even wore my race finishers shirt!

Overall this past weekend was more than I ever imagined possible!!!!

A bit late...but this songs for you

lyin' here with you so close to me
it's hard to fight these feelings when it feels so hard to breathe
caught up in this moment
caught up in your smile

i've never opened up to anyone
so hard to hold back when i'm holding you in my arms
we don't need to rush this
let's just take this slow

just a kiss on your lips in the moonlight
just a touch in the fire burning so bright
and i don't want to mess this thing up
i don't want to push too far
just a shot in the dark that you just might
be the one i've been waiting for my whole life
so baby i'm alright, with just a kiss goodnight

i know that if we give this a little time
it will only bring us closer to the love we wanna find
it's never felt so real, no it's never felt so right

so baby i'm alright, with just a kiss goodnight
no i don't want to say goodnight
i know it's time to leave, but you'll be in my dreams tonight

*some of the lyrics from Lady Antebellum's "Just a Kiss"*

Middle of the night thoughts

"I'll make sure to keep my distance. Say I love you when you're not listening." - Distance by Christina Perri

Sadness = Dreaming about you and then waking up alone.

Just tell me to go away so that I can stop thinking about you.

It's amazing how one simple beep of my cell phone can brighten my day as I see it's a note from you.
I miss you and yet I barely know you.

"I don't trust myself to be enough. To deserve you. There's nothing about me that could hold you." - Stephanie Meyer

I'll pick myself up, wipe the dirt off my hands and legs and begin again. I've done it before and survived and I'll do it again and again.

Someone call IX-I-I !!!

Have you ever wondered how you'd react in an emergency situation? Over the past few years I've realized that I stay pretty calm and actually take charge a bit. At least recently I have.

Today was one of those instances. I was walking back into the building where my work is at the same time 2 gentleman were leaving. I noticed they kept looking over there shoulder at the ground they got closer. I glanced over at what they were looking at and noticed there was a woman on the ground sprained out with her bags laying next to her. I asked the men if they had seem what happened and they indicated they had just stepped off the elevator.

I went over to the woman and stood above her saying "ma'am? ma'am?", but didn't get a response. So I crouched down and started to shake her shoulder a bit and repeated "ma'am? ma'am?" a bit louder. Finally she started to breathe heavy and I she came to. I was about to walk into the nearest office when the receptionist from that place walked out. I told her to call 911 as the lady had collapsed. While she got on the phone several other people appeared (oh and the 2 guys from before, yeah, they left right after I took charge) and they started to get her talking. I stood in the doorway while 911 was called so I could provide information as to what occurred and at the same time trying to get the fallen lady to stay down. She kept wanting to get up, but we insisted she stay where she was until the emergency crew arrived.

Thankfully we don't have to wait long as a fire station is a block from our office and there is typically an ambulance that stays close to it. They arrived in less than 5 minutes after being called and I gave them the run down on what occurred. After seeing I wasn't needed any longer and not wanting to be in the way, I made my escape.

I'm not sure what happened to the lady, and I hope she's okay. She had told us she hadn't had anything to eat in a couple days and felt lightheaded and then blacked out.

I hope emergency situations don't occur too often in my life, but it's good to know I keep my head on straight and don't panic.

on the wings of antici ...

wait for it ... PATION!!!!

I'm getting very antsy for this coming weekend. It's the 6th annual Disneyland Half Marathon and my 2nd year running it. This year my goal is to finish the race in 3 hours and receive my Coast 2 Coast medal! I'll receive that medal when I complete this race cause I also completed a race earlier this year in Walt Disney World: Princess Half Marathon!

Ok...time out...I know my last entry said I was going to do a trip report on my recent venture to Seattle with my coworkers. Well, I lied ... but not intentionally! Things just got busy with work and running that I haven't taken the time to write about it. There are pics up on my FB and Flickr account, so just look there and you'll see all the fun we had!

And ... time in! I do plan on keeping this blog updated with this weekend's festivities, though it may be short and sweet posts. There's tons to do in only a 3 day trip! See friends and family, go on at least Space Mountain (very high priority!), run a 5k, run a half marathon, have my celebratory strawberry ice cream from the Gibson Girl on Main Street in Disneyland after completing the half, and finally ... ride Space Mountain again!!!!

Better get to sleep now. Have another regular 12 hour workday tomorrow and want to get some rest.

Have I mentioned how excited I am? :-)

SPACE MOUNTAIN!!!!!!

Coming soon ... trip report

I got back home a few hours ago from an overnight trip to Seattle.  It was an all expenses paid trip with everyone at work and their significant others ... well, two of us didn't bring anyone, so there was a total of eight people.  We went to the Seattle Mariners vs Boston Red Socks game Friday night and then did a bit of shopping/exploring this morning before taking the train back home.  I'm a bit tired right now, so I'm going to crawl into bed.  But I plan on posting a more extensive report about my trip up north tomorrow.  Pictures and all! 

wordless wednesday

Words added 08/26/11: You can get the backpack at the Disney parks, but I got mine through Amazon.  This is my costume for the 2011 Disneyland 5k over Labor Day weekend! 

They also have a Chewbacca backpack :-)

The tortoise and the hare ...

Tuesdays have become one of my favorite days. It's cause I know when the clock says 5 p.m. I'm out the door! I work a lot, you see, and leaving at that time is very rare for me. But every Tuesday I have track workouts at a local high school and it starts at 5:30 and it takes me about a half hour with traffic and parking to get there.
Anyways, I've been going to track for quite a few months now and have come to accept the fact that I'm the slow one. I'm always the last one done and am usually passed by my fellow track runners quite a bit. I've been okay with that cause I'm still new to the running thing and eventually one day I plan on being faster then I am now and hopefully not the last across the finish line.
Today though I forgot to keep my reminders in my mind, ignore Lefty (left side of my brain, and focus on my running only. This is because 4 new people showed up and ran a pretty fast speed. Even with newbies I was still the slowest. I need to block that out. I need to concentrate on my goals.
I felt good after track tonight, but since I've been home for the last hour, I've grown sad. I had a recent death in the family, found out a friend also experienced the same thing, and I really miss talking to a certain person. I'm thinking we're on two totally different pages in completely different books. Perhaps something will change, but for now, I wait.

wait, what?! huh?!

I got distracted, which made me lose focus, and that led to the self-doubt and self-hate talk creep back in and latch on. That's my guess as to why Saturday's run was brutal for me and I just wanted to stop. I pushed myself through it and even though I walked for about 5 miles, I still completed a 19 mile route.

BUT I have to regain control. At this moment I'm okay with not "having a life". I'm okay with my schedule being work and running only. I'm okay that my only day to sleep is Sunday. I'm okay with this because I need to be. I need to complete these goals. I need to show myself that I can accomplish an impossible goal I've set for myself.

No more distractions. That's not to say I will forfeit the activities I have planned in the next few months ... no way! Just means that certain distractions need to stop and I'm not going to allow them to tear me down again.

My motto this year is:

"I am the only me there is, and I'm worth the time, effort and dedication necessary to succeed."

The pain and sweat that running has made me go through is what I've been needing for quite sometime to feel good about myself. Clothes that were snug or too tight to fit/wear before are now loose and comfortable on me! I've come a long way and nobody, not even me, is gonna make me stray from the course I'm taking.

????? miles per hour

I feel restless tonight. My brain seems to be thinking and contemplating about a gazillion things at a rapid pace. Part of me is excited that I have found a passion for something that is very good for me, but another part wants me to calm down! I'm sure I've annoyed just about everyone I know with all my running talk, but I can't help it. Running is who I am now ... it's what I do and love!

What I really want to do is talk to other runners and ask them questions such as:

* how did you get started in running? Was it an easy decision or was it tough to begin?

* Is there a certain mileage point where you begin to battle yourself at stopping or continue on? How do you get past the negativity of the left brain? What gets you to keep going?

* How in the world do you train for ultras?! And how in the world do you keep the stamina to keep going during them?!

There is so much more I want to know! I feel like a child that is thirsty for knowledge and can't get enough of it in books.

I have all these goals looming in my mind and afraid to voice them in fear of being told it's not possible. I never thought me running in any sort of race, specially a half marathon was possible, but I've obviously proved that wrong!

* Does the feeling of being a race junky ever go away?

* Does the desire to run every diminish? --- I HOPE NOT!

My mom told me after she started running a few years ago that it really saved her life. I thought that was awesome, but never really understood what she meant till I began my own journey with the activity. I have to say I agree 100%! Running has helped me immensely and I'm very thankful for those who have inspired me to begin. It's a life changing thing and I want it to continue.

My running group is doing 17 miles in the morning. The longest I've ever gone is 13.1 ... a half marathon. So when I hit 13.2 I will probably rejoice in the fact that I can do this! Those 4 extra miles will be tough, but I'm looking forward to them! To a new goal and a feeling of accomplishment.

wordless wednesday

ch-ch-changes!

This post is going to be a little bit more personal, but it needs to be said ...

So I've noticed the different changes I've been going through since I've started running in February and my diet decision with not drinking soda or eating dessert/sugary snacks.  I read that during my first year of training I will probably not see a huge decrease in weight, and this has been true.  While I have been losing a few pounds, it hasn't been significant cause I've been putting on the muscles.  Seriously, my calves are rock hard!  What I have noticed is a decrease in inches in pretty much every part of my body.  I'm needing to buy clothes in a size smaller now which for me, makes me feel really good!  Another aspect I've seen deminish is my belly pouch.  Yep, I've got one of those ... not afraid to say it!  In looking back over pics I've taken on race days, I've seen it present, but today in getting ready for track it seemed almost invisible! 

Ever since my pre-teen and teen years I've struggled with weight.  I was one of the comfort eaters when things went bad or I was just bored.  I tried various methods of losing weight including many fad diets, but could never stick with any of them and would just give up.  Giving up the sweets and getting outside for exercise 3 days a week has definitely changd that!  I feel my confidence increasing and my attitude changing for the better. 

For anyone out there that has struggled with the same type of thing, this is about the only advise I can give you .... just keep at it!  You are the only person standing in your way.  Don't let the left side of your brain control you and be kind and have patience with yourself.  In a world of quick fixes and got have it now attitudes, this has been a slow process, but one that I'm truly thankful I finally dove into.  I wish I would've started sooner, but hey now is a better time than any!

Foot Traffic Flat Half Marathon 07/04/11

The race has come and gone and I'm really happy that I completed it!  At one point during the race I really didn't think I would as I started to have hip/thigh pains around mile 6 or 7.  I couldnt' believe it! What in the world ... I thought I was ready! sigh ... let me back up to the beginning ...


Bib number and race shirt

3 a.m. Who wakes up at 3 a.m.?!  The birds weren't even up yet and my cats just rolled over, covered their eyes and went back to sleep.  I lifted myself out of bed, took a shower and put my running clothes on!  I ate a small bowl of oatmeal while double checking I had everything. 

Garmin ... check
Visor ... check
Bib number ... check
Water with Nuun ... check check
Tutu ... CHECK!!!!

I made my way to NW Portland to catch the shuttle bus at 5 a.m. and actually arrived right when they started loading, so I boarded the bus and a lady took the seat next to me.  I kept hearing the surrounding conversations and it appeared I was in East Coast territory.  Even the lady sitting next to me was from somewhere back East.  She told me her goal was to run a half marathon in every State.  This race in Oregon today would be #36.  I told her this race would be #3 for me if I had the same goal!  (Wow....it's true! 1st California, 2nd Florida, 3rd Oregon!)

It was shaping up to a beautiful morning with clear skies and the sun already making it's way up, which meant it was gonna be a hot one ... no shade from clouds today!  East Coast Lady asked me if the mountain she was pointing at was Mt. Hood.  I said no, that's St. Helens, the volcano that erupted in the early 80's.  She said she really wanted to see Mt. Hood cause she had no time for sight seeing.  She had just arrived the night before and was leaving right after the race.  Wow!  I told her Mt. Hood was behind us, and then the bus turned to head north to Sauvie Island and I looked out the window.  I exclaimed "There it is! That's Mt. Hood!"  I think I really made her day that she actually got to see it.  Finally we arrived to the drop off spot, unloaded from the bus and wished each other luck in our race.

I found my running group and noticed that we were all antsy to start.  Not only that, but it was a bit chilly that morning.  Though the sun was out, the breeze and early morning weather kept us jumping and rubbing our hands together.  One lady, Linda, was even wearing a long down coat!  We huddled together, took a group photo and waited.  They had the marathoners start at 6:30 a.m. and we cheered them on as they took off.  Soon, it would be us doing the same.  Some made last minute potty stops, bag checks and watch checks in preparation.



Me stylin in my tutu and color coordinated Zensah compression leg sleeves!



Galloway Running Team!



Waiting for the race to begin

 And then. ... GO!!!! The race began.  One of my running buddies, Bob, and I kept in pace with each other.  Using our 30:30 run, walk, run ratio that we've been training under.  After about a mile I looked at my watch, wow, we were keeping just above a 12 minute mile pace.  A bit fast, but we both felt pretty good, so we kept going. 

Here's a few things you should know about Sauvie Island.  This is where the huge corn mazes are in the fall and it has vast farm land.  Running around this island I thought would be really cool to see all the beautiful scenery.  Yeah, no.  It got somewhat boring after awhile.  Julee from the running group told me weeks before that the course was boring ... she was right.  At the beginning of the race there is quite a bit of shade which made it really nice, but also the wind was pushing against us.  BUT! when you get around the 2nd or 3rd corner and head towards the finish line the shade disappears.  Nada.  Zilch.  Full on sun in your eyes and making it even hotter. 

When I started to feel the hip/thigh pain I voiced it to Bob and we somewhat slowed down our pace, but were still going a bit faster than training.  This is most likely the culprit.  Weekly track sessions of faster speeds are only for about 2 miles.  This was 13.1 miles that I needed to endure.  Finally I told Bob to go on and that I would be taking longer walk breaks.  I just wanted to finish.  My goal of completing in 3 hours would have to wait till the next race.  I just HAD to finish!  I kept trying to give myself pep talks and repeat encouraging quotes I had read and think about the strawberry shortcake at the end, but the negatives had definitely made their way back into my thinking process. 

About mile 9 I realized that I only had 4 more to go and an hour to do it in to make my goal.  I calculated in my head my previous race and training times and thought maybe, just maybe.  But now I was mostly walking, so I put that thought away.  Candy, another running buddy, caught up to me and we walked together for a bit.  About mile 12 she ran ahead and I cheered her on as I continued.  I kept getting closer and was still making good time.  I saw the finish line and knew I could do it.  I gathered all my strength and ran to the finish! 

I came across the finish at 3:04!  I didn't meat my goal, but I did PR! which is absolutely amazing!  I was happy and was greeted by my fellow runners and we all enjoyed delicious strawberry shortcake to celebrate.  My first dessert since March and it was the best thing ever!


best strawberry shortcake EVER!!!

Foot Traffic Flat Half Marathon medal ... it's made out of a recycled bike chain!

Making my way back to the shuttle bus, I sat and sent texts to family and friends letting them know I was done.  Got back to my truck and headed for home, where I relaxed for the rest of the day.  Through the pain and tears, I had finished my 3rd half marathon which is also the 2nd one I've done this year! 

Next race ... Disneyland Half Marathon in September 2011!

pure excitement!!!!!

My mom sent me text last night asking "R u feeling ready for your half?"  I took a brief second to think about it ... truly! a second is all it took and I replied with "I am!"  I've run a half marathon before, 2 in fact, but this is the first race that I actually feel very prepared and very ready for.  I've been training since the end of February with a great group of people (Galloway Training Program) and a few months ago started going to weekly track sessions (RunPortland) at a local high school.  I'm actually very antsy to get the race started, and I'm sure in the middle of it I'll want it to be over and done so I can enjoy some delicious strawberry shortcake, but I also want the day to take it's time.  I want to experience every moment of the day.  From the time I wake up (3 a.m.) to the end of the festivities (probably around 11ish a.m. or so). 

As I've documented in my past posts, I made a 4th of July tutu to wear during the race.  I did a dress rehearsal last night, looked at myself in the mirror and just laughed!  I definitely felt silly and the timid side of me said "take it off! don't wear that! you'll look dumb!"  But I'm going to wear it and wear it happily cause I want to have fun with this race!  I don't care that I'll stand out (even though part of me does cause that's who I am) ... I'm just going to be me and run this half and do my best to make my personal goal of a 3 hour finish time. 

This week I've felt very energized in anticipation for Monday.  Oh and did I mention the strawberry shortcake at the end of the race ... I believe I did!  Well, this will be the first dessert treat I will eat since I don't even remember when!  It's my first prize to myself for completing the race.  That is what I will picture when I get around mile 9 or 10 ... the goodness that is waiting for me at mile 13.1!

To everyone running the Foot Traffic Flat Half Marathon .. and those running the full marathon and the 5k ... RUN STRONG and have a great time!!!!

wordless wednesday

Sometimes you have to kick your own butt

Ok self, you and I need to have a little talk. You need to stop slacking and push yourself to the limit with track. You are a runner! Go for it! You are doing so awesome on the weekend runs, and the whole day before getting to track you feel ready and want to go. And then what happens when you get there?! What do you do when the training gets a little more intense?! You start listening to the left side of your brain and you wimp out. C'mon! Stop doing that! Tell Lefty to shut up! To go sit on the bleachers and wait till your done! Actually when it comes to running, tell ol'negative lefty to blow it out of it's own wazzu! You have miles to run and paces to keep!

You can do this! Sure it was hotter today then any of the other days, but you know what...welcome to summer! It's only gonna get hotter. So prepare yourself. Eat better the day of track and drink water throughout the day.

You, my dear friend, are in training for your biggest goal yet and you are going to rock it!

-Love from the right (and positive) side of your brain :-)

Running costumes

So I've ran in a couple races already and have noticed that quite a few people dress up for them or at least wear tutus, and I thought, I wanna do that!  My next race is the Food Traffice Half Marathon on the 4th of July.  I decided to be patriotic and try to wear red, white and blue.  I did some research online and found patterns for no-sew tutus.  I went to the craft store and bought everything I needed.  After my 4 mile run this morning I got to work.

After awhile I kept thinking I didn't have enough material or it wasn't going to work out.  The more I worked on it, the more excited I got as it came together!  Finally I finished with the last of the materials and came up with this ...

I'm still needing to purchase a red leg compression sleeve and then maybe find something to put my hair up with, but other than that, I feel like I've completing my outfit for the run!  I'm super excited to dress up for this as I haven't really in the past.  The only thing I've dressed up is my hair and that's with a tiara during the Disney World Princess Half Marathon. 

I have an idea for the Disneyland Half Marathon, but I'm not wanting to reveal my secret yet.  And if I can pull it off, I'll be even more excited!

run, run, run as fast as you can ...

What a packed weekend!  It has been filled with running and resting.  Yesterday with my training group we ran 13 miles as scheduled.  We started out at the Vera Katz statue on the East side of the Willamette River and made our way over the Hawthorne Bridge and ran the west side of the downtown Portland waterfront.  Thankfully since we started out at 8 a.m. the crowd wasn't too bad as it is currently Portland's Rose Festival and Fleet Week.  After winding our way back to the east side we ran along the Springwater Corridor which had less traffic, but less to see as well.  It's a pretty run out that direction, and thankfully a pretty flat course.  We ended the 13 miles with going back to the Portland waterfront and this time there were quite a bit more people and it was tough to weave our way through the crowd.  We also got stopped on the bridge as it had risen to let the Portland Spirit pass through.  Having a break of about 5 minutes after running about 11 miles makes it quite difficult to start up again.  Finally finished with a final time of 3:06!

Came home after the long run and took a refreshing cold bath and rolled out the tight muscles in my legs and hips on the foam roller ... keep repeating "its a good pain...its a good pain". 

This morning I woke up bright and early to get ready and head on over to NW Portland to complete the Run For The Love Of Dove 5k.  I had gotten my entire office to run with me along with their significant others and pups.  It was a great turnout and great weather to run!

This race benefited the Stray and Wildlife Fund for Dove Lewis.  When the race was completed we were provided with our "medal" of a backpack and a bottle opener on a chain.

We spent some time after the race going around to the booths and got some great shwag from some awesome sponsors: Dave's Killer Bread, PopChips, VitaminWater, PGE, More Ink and a few local dog hotels to name a few.  My work peeps and I then left the area and went and had breakfast at the Laurelwood where they have an outside eating area so that the 2 pups that were with us could hang out. 

It's been a wonderful weekend and I realized that I logged 21 miles from this past Monday through today!  My next race is scheduled for the 4th and I'm excited to begin!

New goal .... run a marathon

I've done one of the most excited and terrifying things I've ever done before.  I just registered for my first full marathon!  Crazy, right?!  I've been talking with my running coach and he thinks I'm ready and able to do this, so I'm transitioning into the marathon training program of our running group and I was trying to figure out which marathon I should run.  My first half marathon was at Disneyland, so I wondered if I should make my first full marathon at Disney World.  The only problem with that is I would have to wait till 2013 to run a marathon with the current race schedule I have right now.  I really don't want to wait that long, so after much thinking and discussing with a few friends and my running coach, I signed up for the Portland Marathon this year which occurs on 10/9/11. 

And I already know my bib number! 8640

This was a huge step for me as I was one of those people who first said "I hate running and don't understand the people that do run", and then turned into "Yeah, running is okay.  I've gotten used it and have enjoyed a few races, but never will do a full marathon", to finally a person saying "I love running and can't imagine my life without the running activity and I really really want to finish a marathon!".  It's amazing how if we just let go and give something a chance, it can change our life forever!

Friar Trot 5k/10k - May 21, 2011

Last month I ran my first 10k.  That's 6.2 miles of running around Sherwood, Oregon for the Friar Trot.  Some people from my running group were there as well, but they did the 5k.  When I signed up I didn't realize we were only supposed to do the 5k, but I'm glad that I didn't change my registration. 

The Friday night before I went to Roadrunner Sports and picked up my goody bag which included a very bright neon yellow t-shirt and my bib number.  I laid out everything that night and double checked that I had things ready for the morning ... charging my Garmin watch, pinning my number to my pant leg, making sure my running clothes were ready ... you get the idea.  I did my best to get to bed at a decent hour as I needed to be at the race site around 7 a.m. and I lived an hour away.  The race didn't start till 8 a.m., but our group was going to meet early so we could get a good warm up done before the race.

I think I set my alarm for 4 a.m. though I didn't actually wake up for another half hour or so.  I got ready to go, tried to settle my nerves (as I tend to get the case of the butterflies before any race...or any activity for that matter).  Finally, I was ready!

I put my number on my leg cause I put on a jacket and if I decided to take off said jacket during the race, I'd still have my number visible.  Oh and the final touch ... putting the timing chip on my shoe ...

I headed out the door and drove west to Sherwood.  I got there quite a bit earlier than I expected to, but I parked my truck in this massive field they were directing us in which make me thankful to have a truck as it was not a smooth surface, if you get what I'm sayin.  I made sure I had everything ... watch, water bottle, visor ... and walked towards the last minute registration/packet pick up table.  I found two of the guys that are in my group and we waited for everyone else to show up.  Overall there was about 10 of us that ran.  Finally it was getting down to the start time and we made our way with the crowd to begin the race. 

At a few minutes after 8, they sounded the horn and off we went! I ran with one lady from my group, Candy, as we are in the same pace group on Saturdays so we stuck together.  After the first mile I realized that she and I were going a bit faster than we were used to and finished the first mile in about 9 minutes ... I think.  That tends to happen though, the rush of the crowd makes you energized to go faster at the beginning.  We slowed our pace and kept at about 12:50 or so minute mile.  And then it happened, we came upon the split off from the 5k route and the 10k route.  I waved over my head and heard her yell "GO HOLLY GO!!!"  But as I turned to go the 10k route, there was a hill....and not a gradual incline.  No, this was a hill.  Have I ever mentioned how much I hate hills?!  Well, I do.  They are a killer for me.  But I kept going and took extra walk breaks to get my breathing back.  I passed a lady who was just out walking and said its easier now that I'm done with that hill.  Yeah, she lied.  There were tons more hills and it was so lonely and quiet I was thankful for my music. 

After quite a bit of running through neighborhoods, I wound my way back into the forest/park area of the race, which meant I was nearing the end of the race.  At one point there was a little black kitty on the trail staring into the trees.  I thought for sure when I got closer it would get spooked and run into hiding.  But I called out to her and she actually came over to me and I bent down (as I was still running) and gave her a pat on the head. 

I passed the Mile 5 marker and was so excited that I was almost done and making really good time!  Good time for me that is.  I was keeping at a steady 12:40 minute mile pace and as I got into the town portion of the run I noticed 3 people and a dog heading for me.  It was my group leader (Aaron), his wife (Ashley, their dog (Auzlo) and my pace group leader (Carol)!  They came back along the trail to find me and run the rest of it with me!  That almost made me start crying.  Aaron checked to see how I was doing as I had mentioned to him previously that I had a calf injury last fall and he's been coaching me at the weekly track sessions I attend.  We finally turned the corner and I could see the finish line!  I took my walk break as I had to run the long drive to the line.  I heard them all talking around me, but my mind was concentrating and getting myself ready to hussle across that line!  When my watched beeped that it was time to run again, I took off with all I had.  Aaron ran up beside me and said "There's that speed!" 

Candy was waiting at the finish line along with a few others and was able to get a picture of the 4 of us running it in.

My final chip time was 1:18 and I was very happy with it.  This was a good race for me and even with the hills, I'm glad I completed the 10k. 

I have a few more races coming up including a 5k, and 3 half marathons!  I'll do my best to post race reports from those as well.

RUN STRONG everyone!!!!!

This is my life ... let me live it!

A friend on FB recently posted a note entitled "Velveeta".  No, she's not talking about the cheese.  It dealt with the fact that she is single and has been asked that question "why are you still single?  You're smart, beautiful...don't you want to get married and have kids?".  Sigh.  This is my response to that whole thing:

"I seriously hate it when people ask me that question of why I'm still single. To me, its very offensive and makes me think there is something wrong with me! Perhaps I chose this path, perhaps I'm meant to live independently and survive on... my own. Whatever the reason, it's nobody's business but mine! My grandfather told me years ago that he wanted me to stay single, become independent, learn how to take care of myself and not get married till I was 40, if ever! Currently, I'm on that path.   Not that I don't want to meet someone and perhaps one day "settle down", but for now, I'm enjoying my "freedom" of being able to do my own thing and be my own person and do things in my time frame. I have friends that are my close family and of course I have cats that are my children. Family members (besides Grandpa) who ask me when I'm going to get married and have kids basically just wanna see me happy, but who says I'm not?! I'm having a grand ol'time meeting new people and going places."

 

I'm sure that if/when I do meet that special someone and decide to develop something permanent, I will most likely change my routine, schedule, whatever, but right now I love that I'm busy with work and running.  And running is quickly overtaking working as that's all I want to do!

 

So to those who continue to throw that dreaded question at me, STOP!  You are not paying me a compliment and if you are so overcome with my beauty and brains, and say that the man who gets me is a lucky guy, then why don't you step up and be "Mr. Lucky man that get's this"! 

Sunday, sweet Sunday ... maybe?

It's kinda funny ... not in a haha sense, but in a "smack myself on my forehead" sense ... if that even makes any sense. sigh

Okay, so being an independent single woman is awesome! I love that I can have quiet when I want it and loud when I need it and that I'm able to take care of myself. BUT! it seems that on the days (well mostly Sundays) I get a feeling of sadness and loneliness. I suppose it's because I'm surrounded by people 6 days a week and then on Sunday I'm left alone with my thoughts.

My thoughts used to comfort me and I loved spending time with them. I think I'm over it now. I may need more sleep and relax time, but I want to be among other people ... I want to have "social hour" again like I used to back in the day.

I'm pretty sure that what I'd really like to do is to find my penguin. (listen to Christina Perri's "Penguin" song and you'll understand what I mean)

But now I'll go back to laying in my bed on this chilly Sunday afternoon and watch movies and tv shows on my laptop as I hear birds and traffic noises as they flow in through the window.

Wordless Wednesday

Me? Inspire?! ... okay!

I've been posting lately about my weekly running schedule and have received tons of encouragement from friends and family.  And then there are those that say they've gone out for some exercise and said that I inspired them to get out there.  Wow!  That's a great compliment!  I've always been the quiet one (some of you may say otherwise) and it's true.  Unless I'm with certain people, I am typically the wallflower.  I don't see myself as a leader of any sorts or one to inspire others to do things.  It brings tears to my eyes to be told otherwise. 

I hope everyone can inspire someone to do or be something great!

have to say goodbye ... hopefully for the last time

I was rereading some of my entries from last year and discovered one where I talked about needing to say goodbye to certain people that weren't the best for me to have communication with.  As hard as it is, it had to happen.  Well, I'm sad to say that they weasled their way back into my life and must have caught me at my weakest and most vulnerable because I let them.  But today I said goodbye and really meant it.  I don't regret this as I know its the right thing to do.

Sigh

am I not allowed?!

Am I not allowed to be sad once in awhile?  And yes, when I'm sad I'll say things that I'm feeling that moment, but no, I'm not depressed.  In fact, I love my life!  I have a great job, great friends, and I get out of bed everyday and take care of what I need to take care of.  I go through times of being sad and sorrowful, and this can be from a number of things: inner turmoil/struggles, exhaustion, situations that occur, etc.  It can be anything!  At this particular time I'm going through several things that some I've written about, but others I'm not telling a soul cause it's for me to know and no one else to find out.  Yes, I'm selfish that way.  I don't like to share EVERYTHING ... sigh.

I'm thinking it's time to shut down social sites for awhile.  Those that need to get a hold of me know how to outside of websites such as Facebook, Plurk or Twitter.

So, I repeat ... I'm not depressed!  I'm just sad ... mur

silence

I yell out but no one hears me. I scream but no one hushes me. I cry but no one wipes away my tears. I feel pain but no one comforts me. I sit alone in solitude watching the world go by as I hide from it. Not allowing for my yells or screams or tears to be seen and heard. It's been easier that way but definitely lonely.

I say these things not to upset and frustrate, but to step out of my box and give a quiet "help". I retreat back behind my wall hoping no one heard as I would not want to disappoint those that do care.

Silence is all around me. Silence is ...

Lame

Sometimes I do or say something that is so lame, even for me. Why do I do this?! It's then followed by me smacking and kicking myself. Grow up, Holly. You're not THAT funny. geesh

Road Trip - Part 3

Home. Home is good and that is where I am right this moment. The trip to Southern Oregon and I'm sad to say, I'm glad for it.

*Mom, I love visiting with you and catching up, but the trips to G & G's are just so emotionally draining and tough! I have so much respect for you and admire your strength to live everyday and hour in that situation*

My aunt and I left around 10:30 this morning after careful research and discussion as to the best route home. It seems the entire State of Oregon dropped 10 degrees over the weekend causing the mountain we drove over on Friday was having snow flurries and 30 to 40 degree temps. We finally decided that the way we came was the way we would return. Even after our near miss with the semi, my aunt came to the conclusion that if you fall off a horse, you got get right back on.

We went back over to the house to say our goodbyes and make a quick lunch for us to eat during the drive. Hugs all around and grandma shed a few tears, but I promised to come back and asked her to take care of my mom for me. And off we went.

This trip home we listened to the audiobook we started on Friday and really enjoyed it! I'm gonna have to find it at my library so I can finish it. It's called "Traveling with Pomegranates" and is a true story about mothers and daughters (perfect for a Mother's Day weekend). It is actually written by a mother and daughter and the mom also wrote "The Secret Life of Bees", and she even talked about how she got the inspiration for the book. I could relate completely with the daughter, which made me want to keep listening.

We saw quite a few creatures this time, including a lonely coyote just meandering the highway like he wasn't sure what was going on. To me he looked little sad and I hope he finds a partner and is joyous once again. Even coyotes should have a friend to hang out with. I thought I saw a beaver on the side of the road at one point, but it could've been some sort of woodchuck. Oh and we saw turkey vultures eating something they found dead on the side of the road. I hope it wasn't the coyote's friend :-(

So, remember the first part of this road trip? How we were run off the road by a distracted semi? Well, instead of a semi it was 3 deer and 3 other cars! We were getting closer to Bend (our halfway mark) and there was some construction on the road which made the left lane merge into the right and caused everyone to slow down (thankfully). We were in the left lane trying to merge over and for some reason the car in the right lane behind us was not letting us in. So my aunt slowed down even more and then realized that the cars in front were slowing down considerably fast! We swerved a little and saw a deer peak out and walk in front of the front cars ... then a second deer followed ... and then a third! No one got hurt and the deers made it safely to the center grassy area of the highway...crisis averted! whew!

We stopped in Bend for some Starbucks, ate our lunch and continued towards the mountain which had some blue sky around it, but also some angry clouds. As we got closer it started raining quite a bit and on the mountain it snowed for a moment. But, we made it through and over all of it and my aunt dropped me off at my place. I got inside, hugged my kitties, and unpacked.

My daily routine will start again tomorrow at 4:30 a.m. when I wake up for work, and part of me is relieved, but a small part of me wishes I could sleep in and just be for a full day.

Hope you enjoyed this road trip adventure! Thanks to my Aunt Barbara for driving and letting me tag along. I had a great time talking and catching up with you!

Till the next trip ...

Road Trip - Part 2

Even though today didn't involve too much, I'm exhausted! Woke up this morning at about 7, got ready, had some breakfast and then set off for the grandparent's house. Soon after arriving, mom and I went to one of the local high school tracks so I could get my magic mile done. I did the proper warm-ups and halfway through the actual timed portion I wondered why my head was throbbing and it was tough to breathe. I then realized that this town is at 4,000 feet ... yeah, Portland is under a 1,000 feet, so that was affecting me. BUT! Thanks to the weekly track sessions which have me running at a faster pace, I beat my last magic mile by more than 20 seconds! I was shocked! ... and really excited. It's those moments that help me stay motivated and want to just run, run, run!
When we got back to the house my mom and aunt left to go walk the Veteran's Memorial in town and go on a few trails to do some bird watching. I stayed behind and watched tv while my grandparents napped. It was very quiet and nice.
Nothing else exciting really happened. My grandma remembered who I was most of the time and even after falling asleep she talked in her sleep and said "thank you, Holly". That brought a tear to my eye! My grandpa tried to pack a bag of his banks he wanted to give me, but couldn't find the keys to them, so I "lucked" out.
Now my aunt and I are back at the hotel, it's 8:05 pm and so tired that she is now asleep and I'm about to do the same.
We leave for home mid-morning tomorrow and I'm eager to see my kitties and sleep in my own bed ... and get back to my routine. I've developed one and been at it for so long that at times it's tough to alter it.
Hopefully the drive home will be uneventful!

Road Trip - Part 1

Here's what has happened so far: worked from 6:30 am till noon, got home and finished cleaning, aunt showed up and started heading south...driving, talking, more driving, listening to book on tape, driving driving driving, talking and laughing, driv...OMG! there's a semi heading straight for us!!!! AAAAACCCKKKK!!!!! Hearts pounding, more driving and talking and FINALLY arriving at my grandparents!
Okay, the day doesn't stop there and continues to get even longer, but let me back up a bit...
It started out as a pleasant drive. My aunt had never traveled on HWY 26 to Southern Oregon, but it's my favorite route. Anyways, we are talking and catching up on what's going on and at one point listen to a book on CD she brought, but that lasted for about a half hour and we just kept talking. By the way, this drive is 5 hours!
So we are in the home stretch of reaching our destination...just about an hour left when all of a sudden we both notice that a semi heading in the opposite direction is starting to weave into our lane. My aunt begins to move towards the shoulder of the road, but he's got quite a bit of truck in our space and we're afraid we are gonna hit his back end cause at this point the driver realizes what he's done and is maneuvering himself back into his lane. BUT because he's a big semi and we are in a small car, the wind he created with the weaving, causes my aunt to somewhat lose control of the car and is frantically trying to make the car go straight, but the steering wheel is just going back and forth at a rapid rate. Finally the wind dies down and we are safe in our lane and the semi is far behind us. Have I mentioned that it's one lane only traveling in either direction? Yeah...so we were and still a little bit shaken up from that.
We arrive at my grandparents and my grandpa greeted us at the door but didn't seem too happy. He asked if someone knew we were coming down here. Yeeeessss....my mother knew as well as my uncle. "well", he says, "nobody told me." ummmm, yes they did...they told you yesterday. So he then proceeds to ask when we're leaving and if it could be tomorrow. Nope, sorry. We're staying till Sunday. ... sigh
My grandma then walks in the room and at first thinks I'm one of my aunt's daughters and starts to call me Terra, but catches herself and realizes who I am and begins to tell me how pretty I am and gives me hugs :D
It's just been a very long and crazy day. My aunt and I are staying in a local hotel so I'm glad to have a nice bed, where I can snuggle under the covers and prolly quietly cry myself to sleep.
Tomorrow I hope to get a run in, as I have to do our magic mile test to see if I can decrease my minute mile time. The running is going to welcomed and needed.
I best get to sleep now. Need as much rest as I can get! Night!

Road trip!

alright...as very few of you know, I'm going to see my mom, grandparents, uncle and aunt in Southern Oregon this weekend for Mother's Day.  I plan on keeping my blog updated with the happs from the trip, but will probably end up keeping my updates light as I try not to go into too much depth about my grandparents' condition.  My grandma has dementia and my grandpa is in the beginning stages of it.  I may get down there and they might not remember who I am.  It's happened before and it's not a very good feeling ... in fact, it sucks!

My aunt and I are driving down there this afternoon, so I can already tell it's going to be a long day.  So, I'm hoping to post again from the road and since she's driving, I'm planning on taking pics of the drive.  It's beautiful country that we will be going through.

Have a great weekend everybody!!!!

Venting ... ignore if you wish but I just have to say this

Received an email from some man claiming to be my dad.  Okay, so he may biologically be my dad, but neglecting 2 out of 3 children does not make him a father ... just an assistant to my mom to produce HER children.  So, he sent me and my eldest brother an email asking if either of us have heard from Don (the middle child in our family).  He stated that he hasn't heard from him for 48 hours.  Oh really?! So sorry your golden child has neglected to check in.  Hmmm...curious, but I would say it's been hell longer than 48 hours since you've heard from me!  I don't see you sending emails to Dave or Don asking if they've seen or heard from me!  Or even you picking up the phone and calling me!  My number has not changed in over 10 years.  Yes, I realize the phone works both ways, but you know what ... I've tried that!  I spent my 20's trying to establish some sort of father-daughter relationship with you and all it got me was heartache and more disappointment. 

And then, in late 2009 you have a heart attack and I basically stop everything to help.  To make sure you are okay and to get you to your doctors appointments.  And then the "holy boy" calls it quits on you and leaves.  You literally say to my face as I'm about to drive you to another appointment that there is no point in living if he doesn't speak to you.  WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?!  Who says that to one of their children?!  Who makes a person feel like they are not worth anything to them?  No wonder I have such trouble with relationships ... look at my "role model". 

No more!  I'm done.  You do not deserve me as a daughter and I refuse to call you dad. 

Bet this won't even phase you.  Bet you'll just shrug your shoulders and when "OMG I can't live without him" son returns to you, you'll tell him about this post and not really care. 

I've been told by several people that I only have one dad and that I should mend things as he will not be around forever.  AHAHAHA...he was never around me or gave me the time of day in the first place.  To those people I say, please stop telling me this.  It's not going to change my mind and you are not going to make me feel guilty for anything. 

Farewell ... and no, I have not heard from your precious son, as he has chosen to cut me from his life quite awhile ago.

Life Changes & Race Rewards

I have decided that I'm going to once again take all sweets (candy, cookies, cake, soda, etc) out of my diet and look forward to the special rewards after my upcoming races. I haven't decided if I'll give in after any race under a half marathon, but right now here is what I have to look forward to!

Foot Traffic Half Marathon in July 2011: I will reward myself with strawberry shortcake! For one thing they are giving it for free after this half and I definitely wanna partake!

Disneyland Half Marathon in September 2011: I will reward myself with a scoop of strawberry ice cream in a waffle cone from The Gibson Girl on Main Street in Disneyland! After all, it's a must stop whenever I visit that park!

Tinkerbell Half Marathon in January 2012: I haven't decided what I want yet after this race, but I guarantee it's gonna be good and it's gonna be worth it!

Perhaps after each of the shorter races I'll stop by Dairy Queen and get a yummy dilly bar, but as I said, I haven't quite decided on that yet. Right now I'm signed up for the Friar Trot 10k on 5/21 and going to sign up for the Dove Lewis 5k on 6/12. 

So there you have it! Now I'm super excited for July to get here! I have a long way to go, and have already had to deal with the "good pain". I've been going to weekly track sessions at a local high school and they are kicking my butt, but I actually really like going! I really want to improve my time with each race, but my main goal is to lose weight and feel better about myself.

Run strong everybody!!!!

?

So, I have this question I want to ask you, but I just found the answer so I'm not going to ask you anymore. Okay.  Thanks.  Delete.

Now I have another question, but I'm not going to ask you cause you'll think I'm a stupid-head for bringing it up and then call me names and laugh at me.  So I'm going to sit here quietly in the corner and think about what I almost did.

Hmmm...I don't have any more questions at this moment, but I just love talking to you, so sorry for the interruption and the rambling.  But keep talking cause I love your smile, your voice and just hearing you breathe. 

Randomness ...

... that is all ... for now

in my crazy dreams

So I dreamt last night that Gilbert and Anne were talking to me...actual words that I could understand. No "meow meow meow" stuff...English speaking cats! Anyhoo, we were riding in a car passing by a mall when Gil asks if I can let him off at the entrance cause he wants to look around. I thought about it for a moment and just about let him leap out of the car when I realized that he's a cat and I'll never be able to find him and will lose him forever. So I tell him it's best to wait till I can go with him.

Next thing I know, I'm on a boat with Anne and something falls in the ocean. She turns and asks if she can go retrieve it. I tell her she can't cause I'd have to jump in after her and then wouldn't be able to get back into the boat.

Some other scenarios happen with the 3 of us having conversations, but these are the two that I really remember. Odd, I know, but I'm okay with that :D

Oh and the title of this entry is from my friend Morgan Alexander's song called "In My Crazy Dreams" where he sings about Donald Trump wanting to buy his eyes and then a frog leading him around ... another odd dream but it's a great song!

Time for more dreamin!

Sometimes...

I wonder

... will it ever be me?

Crazy? Perhaps, but I'm lovin it!!!

Since signing up with a running program here in Portland, I've come to really love running/walking and being outdoors.  Sorry to all that have been getting bored with all my talk of running.  I either talk of that or of work and personally, I'd rather talk about running then work...bleck!

Every week it seems our instructor brings up more opportunities for us as a group to get together throughout the week.  Our program is only scheduled on Saturdays, but these mid-week optional runs are awesome!  This past Tuesday a very small group of us (I think there were 6 total) met at a local high school and had a track session.  We learned a few warm up track drills then ran the track with recovery times.  Which means that we ran around the track once, stopped to recover (catch our breath and wait till our breathing was normal), then ran around again.  We did this about 5 times and by the 5th time my legs were definitely feeling it.  We are now going to do this every Tuesday!

We've also had one Wednesday night meet for a trail run, and scheduled for another this next week.  The park we run through is the one I spoke of in my previous post and I'm so excited to go back!  In fact, this Saturday's run will be there as well.  I'm planning on taking my camera and get some pics either before or after the run.  It's simply breathtaking and I want to share it!

Oh and another group activity our instructor is suggesting we do are several local races over the next few months.  And yes, I'm going to do them.  One is evern a half marathon!!!! I'm taking this program to prepare for the Disneyland Half Marathon in September, but this local one is on the 4th of July and the course is all flat terrain.  That's why it's called the Foot Traffic Flat :-)  Between now and July though I'm signing up for a 10k and a 5k.

And have I mentioned that I registered for the new Disneyland Half Marathon?  Well, I did!  It's called the Tinkerbell Half Marathon and it's at the end of January and I'm so excited to be a part of this race!

So many different races happen in Portland during the spring and summer, so I'm sure I'll be signing up for quite a few more before the year is over.  But this is what has been occupying my time lately.  Still working a ton, but whenever the opportunity arises, I put on my running shoes and I get outside!

RUN STRONG!!!!

Happy Birthday to me!!!!

just sayin :D

Running in God's Backyard

I knew Portland had some great hiking trails and parks, but yesterday's trail run with my running group had me visit a place I had never been before.  And it only took me about 20 minutes to get there from work as it's just on the other side of downtown.  It's been raining pretty consistently here in the Pacific NW, as is normal, and we had a break in the downpour during the time of this run.  But because of the gray cloud cover and the freshly rained on trees and paths, it made everything seem so vibrant ... as if the leaves on the trees had just been painted!  The group met at Lower MacLeay Park and a representative from Montrail was there to have us try out some of their trail shoes.  I, stupidly, had brought my brand new running shoes, so I was very thankful for the chance to try these shoes and not have to worry about if they got dirty or not ... which they did of course, cause, ummmm, well, like I said it's been raining ... a lot ... and it's a trail which means dirt and mud. 

Anyways, I got a pair of shoes on my feet and took off running.  We did the 1:1 run, walk, run time and man, this trail totally kicked my boo-tay!  I should mention that going into the park it's all uphill.  Some of it is a gradual incline, but parts were pretty steep.  As we were running, then walking, then running again, I took notice of the scenery surrounding me and was simply amazed.  The trail wound it's way alongside a creek and trees seemed to engross the area.  One tree had even taken a dive and you had to walk under it's trunk to get by.  We were only running for about 30 minutes ... 15 in, 15 out.  And when it was time to turn around to head back, we came to this little stone house just sitting off the trail covered in moss.  It was beautiful!

I read somewhere that this park is perhaps the very first park of Portland, but I'm going to have to do some more research.  And I will be going back to this place. 

Oh and after we were done with our run, we gave our opinions on the shoes to the rep.  I really liked the shoes I wore.  They are called BadRocks and they help with keeping your foot stable.  My feet felt very secure which is nice as we were running over rocks and through puddles.  AND!  we were each given 5 playing cards and whoever had the best hand got to pick from the "prize basket" (there was no basket, but you get the idea) and after one person got first pick, me and one other person had a pair of Aces, so I chose a pair of running socks! Can never have too many pairs of those!

The point of this entry is about the run and about the trail.  It's amazing how in such a crazy city of traffic, bridges, hussle and bussle, there are these very serene areas where I feel I can get lost in and feel refreshed!  If anyone wants to go with me to this trail, I would love to take you!  Oh and this place is definitely a photographers dream!  I wish I would've taken my camera as words just don't seem enough to describe the beauty that was found.

Anybody seen my smile?

My smile has disappeared, and it's not because I'm sad or in a bad mood, it's cause it physically hurts to smile right now!  Don't laugh! If you laugh I start to laugh and then my lips hurt real bad....crap! don't quote Napolean Dynamite when your lips hurt cause it just causes more pain.  At this point you are prolly wondering "how in the world did you do this to yourself?! ... crazy!".  Well, I'll tell ya...

This past Sunday I was going out in the morning and decided to put on some lipstick that I haven't used in awhile.  It's the sort of lipstick where you put on the color and then follow with a sort of clear chapsticky stuff to help the lipstick stay on all day.  Reminder! this is not my first time using this.  So I go about my business and drive into town and as I'm standing in a store talking to people I realize my upper lip starts to feel tinglely and puffy ... like I've given myself a fat lip somehow.  I stay in the store and remain talking for about an hour or so, but when I get back to my truck I look in the mirror and realize my upper lip looks like it got punched!  Nothing is helping the pain ... Burts Bees, water, ice cream, nothing.  Sigh.  I do some research and am advised by some sites that I should use Blistex at night and Vaseline during the day. 

I went to work yesterday and in looking at me, you can't tell anything is wrong, but man, I could tell.  People kept making me laugh or smile and it hurt! REAL BAD! mur

Today my lips still hurt.  Actually it's more my upper lip, but I have to take little itty bitty bites of food cause it hurts to open my mouth.  I'm drinking all my coffee and water through straws and I'm constantly applying vaseline to my lips. 

Okay, so I just thought of another way to describe this pain.  It feels like when your lips get severely chapped from being out in the cold cold icy wind all day and you forgot to put chapstick on them.  When the day is over your lips are in so much pain.  That's what it feels like.

Anybody have any home remedies or tricks to help?  If after a few more days of no relief I will go see my doctor, but for now I want to see if the blistex and vaseline will help/do the trick.

Power Outage 2011

So this pic was taken with nothing covering the lens. Usually I have quite a bit of light from the street lamps outside my bedroom window, but since about 3:20 this afternoon, I've been without power! In fact, my entire town is in blackout mode. We had a pretty severe wind and rain storm earlier that toppled several trees into power lines and I read that the main road in and out of my town was blocked due to a mainline being on the road. Yikes!

At one point even my cell coverage was out! Made me have to come up with other things to do that didn't require power. I did the following: took a nap, read two different books, fed my cats their wet food (so it didn't spoil) and read some more. The later it got I had to light a candle and read that way. Goes to show that I can survive without electricity, and my phone/Internet, but did think, what if there's an emergency! I have no way of contacting someone...though I do have neighbors so I could talk to one of them.

Thankfully my apartment stays pretty warm as the heat hasn't been on and I am actually pretty toasty. I also put on extra layers and have 2 cats that's are basically portable heaters.

So now I'm going to try and venture to the restroom cause, yeah, well you know ... and then try to sleep.

Really hoping the power is on by morning or else I'll be getting ready for work at work!

Disney World Princess Half Marathon

Every step was definitely a trial during this race! I went into this with not the best of training as I should've had. I am thankful that I completed the Family Fun 5k the morning before as it was a good warm up to the half marathon.

At 6:15ish am, I crossed over the start line on Sunday, 2/27/11. I was pumped! Ready to run the 13.1 miles to the finish line. The race started outside EPCOT and trekked towards the Magic Kingdom, going into that park and looping around so that it allowed us to run through the entrance to Cinderella's Castle. After existing the park the route went back towards EPCOT and it was on this stretch where doubt, fear and exhaustion started to take over.

"Just walk over to the side, sit down and have a cry. Then pick yourself up, call a race person over and ask to be driven to the finish line." this is what my me was telling me to do. To just give up. I had about 4 miles or so left at that point with the sun beating down and still needing to go over the last two dreaded uphill off ramps. At the top of the first off ramp I could see the pace cars in the distance and about panicked. I started to pick up my legs and eventually caught up to my mom who had started in the corral ahead of me. We ran into EPCOT together and crossed the finish line at the exact same time! I had done it! I had finished this crazy race!

Tears immediately formed in my eyes, but honestly it doesn't take much for me to tear up these days.

I am excited to say that I have signed up for the Disneyland Half Marathon in September this year in an attempt for the Coast-to-Coast medal. I do plan on training to prepare for that one and don't ever plan on being in a race where I haven't trained. Cause believe me, it's no fun!

Final times:
Holly 3:21
Mom 3:30

Another Family Update

I've been getting daily/weekly calls and emails from my mom as to how it's going with my grandparents which I'm vert thankfully for. Though I've been asked to not blog specifics about the daily happenings that my mom experiences with her folks since moving in with them. I respect that and will only let you all know somewhat non-specific info.

My grandma's dementia is rapidly increasing and she has less moments of knowing who anyone is. She is constantly transported into the past, but every so often will have a moment of clarity and remember who my mom is.

My grandpa is doing much better since returning home, though there were moments with him as well with the adjustment to my mom being there. He's eager for spring to start so he can get back outside to his garden.

So for now, this is all I can share. I'm hoping to get back to there house in March and praying the snow leaves soon so I can get over the pass safely. Thank you to everyone that has sent me kind and uplifting words as well as your thoughts and prayers.

Take care.

In my next blog update ...Walt Disney World Princess Half Marathon 2011 !!!

Family Update

As some of you know, and if you ready past posts, the family aspect of my life is crazy.  Well, within the last 30 days it got even crazier.  First of all, just to refresh your memories, my grandparents were moved into an assisted living home as my grandma has developed dementia and her and my grandpa basically stopped eating.  My uncle and aunt live on their property and have done the best they can to take care of them, but it was too much and sustain full time employment. 

I went and visited with my mom for Christmas and saw how sad it had gotten with my grandparents losing so much weight and my grandma not remember who any of us were most of the time.  After long talks and brainstorming, my mom decided to quit her job and move in with them to provide 24 hour care in their home.  We are hoping that getting them back into their own environment will help.  I went to their house this past weekend and helped my mom clean their house before they came home.  It was a very long and tiring ordeal, but finally they came home on Friday. 

Here's where I start to cry because we went to visit them on Thursday and my grandpa said he hasn't seen me in years!  I was just there at Christmas! He had forgotten and when we went to get them on Friday he kept asking my Aunt Barbara who I was and that I look like Paula (my mom).  He didn't say these things in his typical joking ways and was very serious.  Finally after a time of us visiting, it came back to him.  It's hard for one grandparent to forget who you are, but for both of them to do this was one of the most difficult things for me to face.  Dementia is a very cruel disease and I sympathize with anyone who has had to deal with it. 

I have the highest respect and love for my mom as she begins this new chapter in her life and pray for her everyday as takes care of her parents.  I love my grandparents dearly and can't imagine my life without them.  I'm going to do my best to visit them often, and it's a 5 hour drive one way.  I should look into taking the train.

I hope to post more updates on their progress now that they are home and want to say thanks to those I've poured my heart and tears out to ... you know who you are. 

"My life is a perfect graveyard of buried hopes...

I say that to comfort myself during these times that try the soul." Anne of Green Gables sure knows how to express one's self when things are crazy and sad. Over the Christmas weekend I drove to my mom's and then we traveled to see my grandparents at their home in Klamath Falls. A few weeks ago they were placed in an assisted living home, and when I saw them in their new place, I was saddened.

I love my grandparents and childishly thought they'd always be around. But life has a cruel way of shoving reality back in my face. My mom is actually going to be moving into their home within the next month and taking care of them ... permanently! This means she'll live even further away from me.

I think I've gone numb from everything cause I'm not reacting how I thought I would. At least on the outside I'm calm and collected and factual, but inside I can hear myself screaming...trying to get the outside me to show some sort of emotion, but it's a constant battle.

I know one of these days it'll happen and I'll just have a day or so of uncontrollable tears, but for now, I'm just quiet.

Some may have noticed I'm not being very talkative online, and this is why. I don't have much to say and honestly don't feel like posting anything. I'm still around, but blending into the background.

I'm truly thankful for my friend Trish and my boss. They have been my outside/non-blood related family source of thinking out loud and not letting things fester.

I'll keep ya posted on the health of my grandparents, my mom's move and when/if the first tear falls from my eyes. In the meantime I have work to distract me and a half marathon to prep for ... le sigh

silence

I scream, but no one hears me.
I cry, but no one sees my tears.
I blend into the crowds so no one sees me in pain.
I become invisible and watch the world go by.
I wonder if anyone will notice.
I wonder when I will reappear.
I wonder when I will grow up and do something about it.
I wonder.