wait, what?! huh?!

I got distracted, which made me lose focus, and that led to the self-doubt and self-hate talk creep back in and latch on. That's my guess as to why Saturday's run was brutal for me and I just wanted to stop. I pushed myself through it and even though I walked for about 5 miles, I still completed a 19 mile route.

BUT I have to regain control. At this moment I'm okay with not "having a life". I'm okay with my schedule being work and running only. I'm okay that my only day to sleep is Sunday. I'm okay with this because I need to be. I need to complete these goals. I need to show myself that I can accomplish an impossible goal I've set for myself.

No more distractions. That's not to say I will forfeit the activities I have planned in the next few months ... no way! Just means that certain distractions need to stop and I'm not going to allow them to tear me down again.

My motto this year is:

"I am the only me there is, and I'm worth the time, effort and dedication necessary to succeed."

The pain and sweat that running has made me go through is what I've been needing for quite sometime to feel good about myself. Clothes that were snug or too tight to fit/wear before are now loose and comfortable on me! I've come a long way and nobody, not even me, is gonna make me stray from the course I'm taking.